Where to hide the Elf on the Shelf so your kids will never find it

Where to hide the Elf on the Shelf so your kids will never find it

  1. The dishwasher
  2. The refrigerator vegetable drawer, the fruit bowl, or anywhere fruits and vegetables live
  3. On top of the washing machine, in plain sight
  4. The drawer next to your bed where you keep your vibrator
  5. In the basement behind the furnace
  6. The cat’s litter box
  7. Behind the box of old VHS tapes in the attic
  8. At Billy’s house, because his family celebrates Hanukah
  9. In the bin with all the Legos your kids no longer use because all they want to do is play the goddamn Xbox
  10. On the bookshelf behind the collection of parenting and self-help books you keep meaning to read
  11. Inside the box of Raisin Bran
  12. The fucking garbage

 

 


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